Pot Brownie

WHY I WON'T CALL THE COPS BECAUSE YOUR DOG ATE YOUR POT BROWNIE
"I swear, doc. There is no way he got into weed."
"You're positive? He's stumbling, his attitude changes between agitation and extreme lethargy. It's pretty classic for pot. It makes no difference to me. I just need to know so I can treat Duke. We won't call the police."
"Positive."
"Alright....We need to run blood to try and figure out what's going on and admit him to our hospital to be placed on IV fluids."
"Wait...... you really won't call the cops? Ya, I'm missing a pot brownie. Don't tell my wife."
For any vet that has been around long enough, that is a pretty typical conversation for a "pot dog". The questions are part of a typical history. History taking is one of the most important things we do every day. It’s the part of the examination where I ask you questions about your pet. These will be questions such as- what medications is your pet on, is your pet drinking normally etc...In school, we had many lectures on history taking. Every professor said that this was the most important part of the whole exam. We didn’t believe it. It seemed silly. We have stethoscopes, finely tuned hands and a vast array of testing at our disposal to figure these things out. How much difference can a few words make when I have the power of an MRI? Truthfully, a single sentence out of your mouth could change everything for your pet.
A dog urinating blood can lead into a conversation on why you do not need to “relieve” your male dog or why giving your dog a lot of table salt and pumping on its stomach is not a viable or safe way to induce vomiting. It really does not matter what you tell me, so long as you have something to tell me. There is nothing more costly (for your pet's health and your pocketbook) than no information. The difference between how much water your pet is drinking is the potential difference between diabetes, a urinary tract infection and about a dozen other slightly less common diseases. What medications your pet is taking could make the difference between getting better or a lot worse. YOU are the most important part of my exam. You, being an active participant in your pet’s health is what will help your pet live a longer and happier life.
Here are a few other things to keep in mind when your vet is asking you questions:
• If I ask if he has taken any medications, please list EVERYTHING. A good rule is that if it is not JUST food, it is a medication.
• Unless you purposefully got your pet high or drunk I will not call the police or SPCA. I just need to know so I can help your pet. 
• Nothing is off limits. We've seen and heard a lot. A large part of my job is touching blood and poop. Not much frightens us.